Why Is the 4-8 Week Stretch SO Hard?
Why is this phase so difficult? Let’s talk about it.
So many parents of newborns hit a wall around the 4-8 week mark that baffles and exhausts them. Everything was going well, your baby was sleeping pretty much around the clock, nights were long but manageable… and then it’s like the wheels come off. The fussiness seems to skyrocket for almost no reason, and nothing you do seems to work. Your baby is moaning, groaning, squirming, writhing, and crying—so much crying—rarely seeming comfortable or peaceful. He loses his mind in the afternoon and evening; napping normally and regularly becomes a distant memory. You think…
What. Is. Happening. Is my baby broken?!
Not at all.
There is an uptick in fussiness and crying around the 6-week mark, sometimes slightly earlier or later, that is well-documented by sleep experts. Your baby isn’t broken, but totally normal.
Why does this peak in fussiness happen?
Not only is your baby undergoing exponential development during these first few weeks of life, but, starting around 4 weeks, the initial newborn sleepiness is wearing off, and he is beginning to take more interest in his world. As he views and processes more of what he is seeing, feeling, and doing, his tiny bucket of tiredness will fill up quickly. By the end of the day, especially if he hasn’t napped well, his body and mind will be exhausted. If you find that your baby is much fussier (read: A WHOLE LOT FUSSIER) in the later afternoon and evening around this age, know that it is normal.
You may have heard the terms “colic” or “purple crying,” which simply mean an extreme period of inconsolable crying or fussiness that can’t be pinpointed to one particular reason (like hunger or a wet diaper) and often doesn’t end even when baby is picked up or held. It’s different from fussing, which is the type of distress that can be consoled. Studies show that colic can peak around 6 weeks, usually decreasing significantly by 9 weeks. It is believed these crying spells are part of normal developmental changes while baby is establishing his natural wake/sleep and day/night rhythms. For most babies, a bout of colic ends with baby falling asleep, often later in the evening.
What do I do when this happens?
It might seem that this stage will never end, and you might be hanging on by a thread right now. Just know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and your baby will stop crying eventually.
A way you can help to avoid these meltdowns in the afternoon and evening is to pay very close attention to your baby’s wake times during the day (often called wake windows), offering naps after she has been awake for about 45-60 minutes (this amount of time awake is typically appropriate for a 4-8 week old and should include any time she spent nursing or bottle-feeding). Remember: in these early weeks, you cannot spoil a newborn with “bad habits,” like contact napping or assisting them to sleep. Do what you need to do to survive and keep your baby safe, and feel no guilt!
In the moment, mentally check the boxes for your babies’ basic needs: full belly, clean diaper, comfortable clothing, no pain or trapped gas, no fever, no tiny hairs wrapped around fingers or toes, etc. Apply soothing techniques that are known to calm newborns, like swaddling tightly, rocking rhythmically, offering a pacifier, or even feeding. Consider offering a contact nap in a dark room with a sound machine; or, if your hands need to be free to make dinner or play with your older child, try baby-wearing in a tight wrap. Step outside if the weather permits (for both yourself and baby!) and breathe in the fresh air. Try giving her a warm bath, or, better yet, take a bath together, holding her on your chest while you take long, deep breaths. Speak the truth to yourself, that this is temporary, your baby is normal and will be okay, and you will get through this.
However, the caveat is: follow your gut. If your baby has been crying constantly and you have an instinct that something seems off, please don’t hesitate to contact your child’s pediatrician—they are there to help you, even simply to give you peace of mind. It’s worth it
When does it end?
Even though the peak of fussiness is around 6 weeks, studies show that it decreases rapidly, with most infants ending their colicky periods after only a couple weeks, around 8-9 weeks. And happily, if they hadn’t already, many begin to sleep longer stretches at night around this time as well. It’s not the case for every baby, but following a predictable routine, focusing on full daytime feedings, and offering regular naps to prevent overtiredness can help tremendously with establishing healthy sleep habits early on, leading to more consolidated nighttime sleep.
Stuck? There’s help!
If you would like more guidance in how to lay a foundation for independent sleep in the newborn phase, often called “sleep shaping,” or if you need support while walking through the 6-week fussy period or any other newborn sleep questions, please reach out! Our Sleep Shaping for Newborns guide and consultation will set you and your baby up for success, offer you peace of mind about what is developmentally typical, and give you the confidence to make healthy choices for your family.
Please note that I am not a medical professional, and this blog post is not meant to serve as medical advice, a diagnosis, or any form of treatment. If you have any questions or concerns, please discuss them with your child’s pediatrician.
Sources:
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, Marc Weissbluth, M.D., 2021 (Chapter 7: “Healthy Sleep Habits in the Second Month”).
“Purple Crying,” Cleveland Clinic Health Library, https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/purple-crying
